One of the most conflict-causing pre-wedding situations is that of finalizing a guest list. Whether it be arguing with your in-laws, your parents or even your friends, finalizing a guest list is tricky. This is where your "needs" and "wants" should be put aside.
Although it's nice to be able to invite everyone that you know, unless you have infinite monetary resources; this is not possible.
Firstly, you need to determine how many people you can afford to invite. You can do this by taking your budget and dividing this by the number of guests you would like to have. This will give you an approximate cost per person (Couples usually budget between $35 and upwards, simply for food). Alcoholic beverages can differ. For a couple with a smaller budget, but who also want to include more people, drink tickets (eg. 2 per person) may be offered. This can also assist in tackling the "Drink Responsibly" dilemma.
Secondly, Do you intend to have a small wedding or a large wedding? The size of your wedding will also influence the location of the venue. This, inherently, will also determine whether some of your guests will be able to attend or not.
Thirdly, when considering what your numbers are, please remember that it is proper wedding etiquette to allow your invitee to bring along a guest.
Something to Consider...
If you would like to invite more people but cannot afford to have them all at your reception, please consider inviting them to your wedding ceremony.
The following link has some great ideas in wording your "ceremony-only" invitations: http://www.weddingstar.com/wedding-stationery/wedding-drink-tickets
How we finalized our guestlist
Our wedding was quite complicated. My husband's family (just like many others) are separated and both his parents have subsequently remarried.
-Therefore, I requested that his stepmother as well as his mother, provide us with a list of guests that they wished to invite.
-My parents provide me with a list of guests (although they are both very easy-going)
-My husband and I tallied a list of guests whom we wished to invite.
-We asked that the guests be prioritized; therefore, if there was anybody that we could not accommodate, we could eliminate guests based on "needs vs. wants."
As our budget was quite limited, we had to make the decision not to invite children under twelve. This worked out somewhat, as it was a nice break for some parents.
We also chose not to invite friends that we have not spoken to in years.
We asked our family to verbally invite important individuals living at a distance and to get a "feel" as to whether they would be able to attend or not.
We did not assume that anyone could "not come" unless they had previously informed us; therefore, we were able to invite others from our "back-up list."
Although it came up in conversation, we chose not to ask single guests to come alone. We provided them with the opportunity to come with a date.
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